Wednesday, July 21, 2010 @ 7:04 PM
BATCH 2: A LETTER TO SOMETHING YOU'VE OWNED 5+ YEARS.
dear mei-mei,
you are probably the most cherished thing i own. since i was a baby, i had a mei-mei, and when i lost it in the airport on the way to hong kong, i cried until my mum had to buy a new one in hong kong -- but it didn't smell bad, so i didn't accept it. she said she had to soak it in milk for me to recognize it. anyways, it's been years and i've always had you by my side. i always hold onto you until i fall asleep, because you make my fingers feel soft and i like that. the patch of hello kitty recently came off, every last thread coming apart around it, so now you have a huge, gaping hole, but i don't care. when i'm lying in bed, i have a short spasm when i can't find you, and jump up frantically.
i love you, mei-mei.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010 @ 7:43 PM
BATCH 2: A LETTER TO AN ANIMAL YOU THINK IS FUCKING STUPID.
dear mosquito,
quit it, will you? your existence bears no flourishing fruit to the human race, only toil and terror.
may thee combust in yonder blazed depths of hell.
Monday, July 19, 2010 @ 8:57 PM
BATCH 2: LETTER TO AN ANIMAL YOU LOVE.
OH DEAREST RED PANDA,
YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL TO ME.
Saturday, July 17, 2010 @ 8:43 PM
BATCH 2: LETTER TO A VIDEO GAME CHARACTER
dear pit of icarus,
oh my god, the love i have for you. you barely ever graced a video game since the kid icarus days, right?
well, babby, i am proud to inform you that the nintendo fairies were very good to you |-) b4 i raepfaec u qtpi u r ova 18 rite?
ha ha ha. but really. you are the easiest to control in super smash bros brawl
and i didn't even need the aphrodisiacs.
whenever i hear of the greek myth, of daedalus and icarus, i think of you and get sad.
bby y u gotta fly so clos 2 da sun?
u no da airplayns rnt chutin starz yh?it's ok bby, you got a video game out of it, and i get to see you strut your stuff on my big tv...
did you know the wii has a pic-capture more where i can zoom in on you?
|-)
toodles bby
<3
Friday, July 16, 2010 @ 7:06 PM
BATCH 2: A LETTER TO YOUR BED.
dear bed,
we share an interesting relationship, we do... we rarely hang out during the days, but we do have those chance encounters. no matter where i go or who i'm with during the day, i always come crawling back to you at night, then i wake up, get dressed and the cycle continues. wow. anyways, there's nothing i'll do to change that.
ok bye bby.
see you tonight.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010 @ 5:46 PM
BATCH 2: LETTER TO A WORD YOU LOVE [DAY14]
S
is for sweet, a word i really obviously love a lot.
@ 2:37 PM
BATCH 1: A LETTER TO THE REFLECTION IN THE MIRROR [DAY3O]
dear ericamay,
you need to stop. you make everything about yourself and you get way too paranoid quickly. you need to just take a breath and stop thinking about the future for once. just go with the flow. and you give terrible advice, so don't try; and stop bringing everyone else's problems around to talk about your own problems. your patience is an issue, too. not everyone can do what
you want them to do, so drop the expectations. live in the fucking minute and don't get to comfortable -- what could be a niche today could be gone tomorrow. take in every opportunity you can get and stop worrying about the consequences. if you have a good reason to be doing the things you're doing, then nobody can call you out.
Monday, July 12, 2010 @ 7:24 PM
BATCH 2: A LETTER TO A WORD YOU DON'T LIKE [DAY13]
J
is for "jokes"
AS IN I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK JK MEANS SO I'LL SAY IT MEANS JOKES.
@ 6:27 AM
BATCH 1: LETTER TO SOMEONE YOU WANT TO TELL EVERYTHING TO BUT ARE TOO AFRAID [DAY29]
dear ________,
if i could tell you everything, that would be absolutely wonderful, but i'd probably scare you away. you'd be flustered beyond belief and gradually stop talking to me. so i won't tell you too much. simple stuff. (: i like things the way they are right now -- far too much to risk it all.
Saturday, July 10, 2010 @ 8:42 PM
BATCH 2: A LETTER TO A MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURE
dear veela,
i know you're out there.
this letter is clearly some kind of blasphemy.
you're beautiful.
please produce more male half-veela.
thank you.
<3
@ 5:14 PM
BATCH 1: A LETTER TO SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOUR LIFE. [DAY28]
can't think of anyone in particular, but whoever introduced me to the internet.
Thursday, July 8, 2010 @ 7:16 PM
BATCH 1: A LETTER TO THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE A PINKY PROMISE WITH [DAY26]
DEAR JEREMY INCIONG.
YOU ARE LIKE MY SOULMATE, EXCEPT YOU'RE ASIAN. IT'S LIKE GOD MESSED UP WITH MY ORDER, AND WAS LIKE "OH, FUCK IT. SOMEONE WILL LOVE HIM ONE DAY." LEWL. YEAH ANYWAYS, WE MET LIKE ASH KETCHUM MEETS A MAJESTIC EEVEE -- IN A CHANCE ENCOUNTER WITH BACKGROUND MUSIC. TADUUUUUR~! WILD EEVEE HAS APPEARED! AND THEN, WE TALKED A BIT. AND I DITCHED MEREDITH CUZ I WAS TALKING TO YOU. THEN WE WERE BIFFLES IN KARATE. AND IT WAS GR8. EXCEPT WHEN ALEISHA MADE EVERYONE THINK I WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU OR S/T. BUT HAY, IT'S COOL. CUZ YOU BUY ME STUFF AND I USE YOU, BUT IT'S ALL GOOD.
LESS-THAN-TWO YOU, JEREMY!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010 @ 10:46 AM
BATCH 2: A LETTER TO AN ALIEN RACE. [DAY1O]
doctor who has prepared me for this.
dear weeping angels,
you're positively beautiful but absolutely terrifying. when the eleventh doctor encountered you, i got chills up my spine at how you broke the cadet's legs and used his brain to communicate with the humans. your intelligence is immense. i think you can make grown men cry -- you already have people afraid to close their fucking eyes.
kudo to you, bby.
@ 10:23 AM
BATCH 1: LETTER TO THE PERSON YOU KNOW IS GOING THROUGH THE WORST OF TIMES. [DAY 25]
i refuse to expose them.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010 @ 1:52 PM
BATCH 2: A LETTER TO THE COOLEST PERSON YOU'VE NEVER MET [DAY9]
dear charlie mcdonnell, logan lerman, neil patrick harris, neil cicierega, adam young and everyone else i hold a place for in my heart but cannot even begin to type,
if i ever befriended any one of you, i'd be so amazingly happy. words cannot describe. if i saw you in person, i could probably die. oh my gosh, the thought of seeing any of you in the streets is making my heart race. dear lord, i love you all.
@ 6:35 AM
BATCH 1: LETTER TO THE PERSON YOU GAVE YOU YOUR FAVOURITE MEMORY [DAY24]
i don't have a favourite memory, so i'll just reminisce here about all the times i've really liked. like when nicole and i went to eatons and chilled like mofos; when my dad and i went downtown and i got to see the cast of heroes;
disneyworld is my home; the week i spent with total strangers that i ended up loving like family = cruise2o1o; biking with vickie during the march break and we went to meredith's house; that one time i went to meredith's house and chilled with her and donna;
canada's wonderland the day after my birthday; my birthday party where i got the best gifts ever; my eighth grade graduation where i finally got the courage and overused it; when jenny and i went to eatons and ate lunch in dundas square; the last day of the sixth grade;
the day of my first kiss; when billy used to be my best friend/love; toy story 3; my brother's party, when i got a kiss that flustered me; when i told him i had butterflies in my hand and he gave me a high-five;
looking forward to warped tour; every sleepover i ever had; my 14th birthday party;
that week of my birthday where everything was obscenely perfect.
Monday, July 5, 2010 @ 2:26 PM
BATCH 2: A LETTER TO A GIANT SPACE ROBOT.
dear emperor of the daleks,
you are terrible. you brainwashed the daleks into praising you, making them exactly what they hate: human. worshiping you makes them a cult, and humans or humanoid species are about the only ones who have religions and such. good job, you greedy, uncultured swine.
@ 2:03 PM
BATCH 1: LETTER TO THE LAST PERSON YOU KISSED [DAY 23]
dear william nathaniel sebastian III,
you were a gift from munchkin. i got you before i knew he liked me, and absolutely adored you. i regard you as possibly the first gift someone has given me without specific reason. it was because of you i realized i really loved this kid. and it's because of that that i know i'm not just infatuated with him -- since i've loved him before i liked him, it makes sense that i would love him still, right?
anyways, you're always there for me. always. when i'm insecure and sad, i can hug you and you catch all my tears. with you in my clutches, i get the inspiration to brave some of my fears. you help me when i feel like i'm bugging people, you listen when i feel like i don't have anyone else. i can hug you in my sleep and share my dreams with you, and you won't judge me. you're wonderful; absolutely wonderful.
thanks, love.
<3
@ 1:41 PM
BATCH 2: LETTER TO A HISTORICAL EVENT.
dear world war II,
imagine if hitler succeeded.
there would be no annoying children in my geography classes.
i am js.
@ 1:41 PM
BATCH 1: LETTER TO SOMEONE YOU'D LIKE TO GIVE A SECOND CHANCE TO.
this letter is blank, because -- frankly -- i'd rather not readmit anyone in my life i do not want. (:
@ 1:41 PM
BATCH 2: A HEARTFELT LETTER TO SOME FOOD.
dear rainbow-sprinkles-inside cupcakes, puto and shortbread-chocolatedrop ghiradelli cookies,
i cannot stand to be without you. the thought of you makes my mouth water. damn girl, go get em gurl. i will be with you shortly, my love, and i think we can both be happy once that happens. it will be five minutes of bliss, since you don't last any longer.
xoxox
@ 1:40 PM
BATCH 1: LETTER TO SOMEONE YOU JUDGED BY THEIR FIRST IMPRESSION.
dear creeper,
and, no, not you meredith; that annoying blonde idiot who bumbles her way through everyone else's romantic lives because she has none of her own.
honestly, my opinion of you was dead on and never changed.
- obsessed with adam, check.
- obsessed with loucas, check.
- obsessed with trying to be one of the boys, check.
- obsessed with being popular, check.
- incredibly annoying, motherfucking-check.
like, holy shit. having to deal with you in french, trying to make anything adam-related into a big deal -- if i had a gun, my lord, how happy i would have been. but anyways, your presence and obsessions are the basis of every good joke between myself and relatively close friends. yes, that does mean that adam knew you put his initials in your personal message -- did you really think i ever cared to befriend such an idiot?
yes, i told basically everyone i knew that you liked adam and we'd totally make fun of you for it, but in exchange, i told you i liked loucas. LOL, TOO BAD I WAS ALREADY OVER HIM, HUH? and, anyways, you went about and told people i liked him, but it wasn't a big deal since i didn't at all. your truth plus my lies equal win-win for me. you then proceeded to tell me a number of people who liked loucas, and i told one of those people; she was not very pleased at all. and she still isn't pleased, but you wouldn't know that -- i'm still surprised you even know how to spell your name.
i never pretended to like you in the second semester, yet you still were under some strange, twisted perception that i was a friend of yours or something. hilarious. i remember when you asked me, "are you really dating christian micallef?" and i totally pulled a sarcastic bitch move to your face. "well, you know, i was just doublechecking cuz some people blahblahblah".
and did you not notice me making audible remarks about you with victoria whenever you'd pry into her life? of course she didn't have the guts to tell you to back off, and i'm really glad to be so blessed with that ability. like when vickie didn't finish her science review and you made such a big deal, exclaiming "VICKIE? OMG, THAT'S SUCH A FIRST!" and i told you to shut up.
BUT THE KICKER IS WHEN YOU TOLD ME TO SIGN YOUR YEARBOOK. goddam, that was a hilarious play.
"hey, erica, wanna sign my yearbook?" fuck, you made it sound like something i'd want to do. i just had to hold back my laughter, but that didn't prevent the smug smirk on my face when i said "no.".
anyways, here's to much more torment for you. i'd suggest you switch out of any of my classes, because i don't think you've got anything against me, slut.
p.s., yes, i'm a bitch, but at least i'm not a doublefaced cunt who exposes the secrets of her 'friends'. besides, you dress in tight shirts and tna pants to make up for the fact you have not much else. honey, anyone can make trash look nice, but that doesn't change the fact it's completely useless.
xx
@ 1:40 PM
BATCH 2: LETTER TO A CELEBRITY YOU WISH TO KICK IN THE FACE.
dear ellen page,
holy shit; when i see you being interviewed, i just want to kick the apathy out of your pores. like, honestly: can you at least liven up a little? that one interview you did for mtvlive was just TERRIBLE. you sad there like a sad, misunderstood hipster chick. i mean, sure, you're a greeeeat actress and all, but do you know how bad interviewers feel when they think they're forcing you into talking to them? be respectful, thanks.
@ 1:40 PM
BATCH 1: LETTER TO THE PERSON WHO BROKE YOUR HEART THE HARDEST.
dear billy,
i think i can fairly say you trashed my heart. you were my first friend, since we lived in the same apartment growing up, and your mum was pretty close to mine. i still have photos of us together at my birthday parties. i remember how we'd always be together.
i remember specifically one day, when we were playing around in my apartment, and we were running from my grandma, so we hid in my room and locked the door. for some reason, we felt the need to crawl under my bed too. and while my grandma knocked for us to open the door, you gave me a kiss on the cheek.
damn, billy, i loved you. but then, school came around and you started to play basketball. and we talked less. you got so much more popular. eventually, it was like we didn't know each other anymore. and then, one day, you weren't here anymore. i had no fucking clue you were gone until my mum told me. your mum's rent was due and she couldn't pay it, so you two ran off in the middle of the night after flooding the room.
i think the worst of it all is that you never left a proper goodbye, just the mediocre year or so of ignoring our friendship. yeah, that's great. now, i'll never see you again, never speak to you again, and i have a hard time convincing myself you ever existed, sometimes.
thanks for that, billy.
@ 1:40 PM
BATCH 2: LETTER TO SOMEONE YOU WANT TO KICK IN THE FACE EXPRESSING WHY YOU WANT TO KICK THEM IN THE FACE.
dear ______,
you are an absolute moron, it's not even funny. i've heard of conceited, but there you are, probably the worst. it's funny how you go around telling tall tales about yourself that you ACTUALLY THINK PEOPLE WILL BELIEVE. un-fucking-believable. do you really think the idea of you making out - much less, getting a wanted hug! - with a girl is absolute mindfuckery. i mean, the first thing you tell people when you meet them seems to be either your shit family or your absolute, misunderstood genius and perfect future. i don't know if "over-exaggeration" is a proper term, since i couldn't imagine you fitting into the terms you describe yourself with on even the smallest scales. girls are all over you at parties? really?
that's like telling me you club seals before dinner on wednesday nights.
just the thought is revolting, to say the least, but the fact it's almost absolutely a lie makes me sick.
you honestly remind me of a sick, internet pedophile and for that reason, fool, i'd absolutely adore kicking you in the face. what the hell is your problem, anyways? you ruin or seek to ruin other people's relationships because you think the girls would rather be with you?
I DON'T THINK HELEN KELLER WOULD BE WITH YOU, MUCH LESS A GIRL WITH 20/20 VISION AND PERFECT HEARING.
stop fucking meddling with happy people. stop making expectations through your delusional perspective. you've been chopping the same girl, hopelessly, since the seventh grade: get up and move on. i mean, seriously? "i can relate to jacob black because i know we're meant to be and i have to live with being just a friend while she falls for some other guy". CHEESY SHIT. if she wanted you, she could have you in a goddam heartbeat, so don't even bullshit me. do YOU honestly believe she'd be with a guy like you? she sacrifices enough to befriend you, so i'd say that believing she'd date you is crossing the line. that's like oliver twist asking for more. no. you don't get anymore than that, silly boy, and you never will.
and the way you talk about your "chops" is pathetic. "i think if i tried for her, i could have her" how bout no. i know who practically all the girls you like have crushes on, and they are all way out of your league.
and your stupid searches for attention... you're such an urchin! if you have to force someone to say something caring, that defeats the purpose, dumbass. maybe someone's going to show you affection without you having to tell them you're moving, or doing drugs or contemplating suicide.
don't fucking ask me if i'd be sad if you died, because three people i've known have passed away and, frankly, the morose topic isn't one i'd like to take part of with
you. not to mention, i'm a wonderful liar.
so go ahead and light that blunt, wank to the thoughts of your made up stories, or force vickie into pitying you, but know that's the best you'll get.
@ 1:39 PM
BATCH 1: EVERYTHING BETWEEN DAY 12 AND DAY 19
DAY 12 — LETTER TO THE PERSON YOU HATE THE MOST/CAUSED YOU A LOT OF PAIN.
dear expectations,
you make life so hard. i can't wake up without some expectation for my dad, or sleep without some expectation for the next day. my parents have unrealistic expectations of me, good and bad, and that stress makes me so freaking tired. i expect people to be one way or another and they scarcely fit my predictions. you're the reason for the end of most of my friendships and the beginning of most bad blood. without you, i can't imagine life, though. if i could just NOT think things through. if my parents could just let me live. if
i could just let
others live. ah, fuck.
DAY 13 — LETTER TO SOMEONE YOU WISH COULD FORGIVE YOU.
dear father,
i’ve done a lot of stupid shit in the past, but i’m a pretty good kid where it counts, you know? i don’t do drugs, smoke or drink, for that matter. i do what i can in school. i find myself always trying to start conversations with you while you just turn them down, like when you’d pick me up from karate and if the ride wasn’t silent, it ended with me screaming in tears. i don’t know why you go out of your way, sometimes, to make me miserable, or why you’re so much more strict when mum’s around.
nevertheless, it would be great of you to forgive me.
DAY 14 — LETTER TO SOMEONE YOU'VE DRIFTED AWAY FROM.
i’m not going to add too much to this, i was pretty much just tired of being dragged along and degraded. i started noticing this around november, to be honest. i ignored you for the most part, but then we had an msn conversation, and i thought everything would be okay. but then you brought her into the conversation, and i was ignored, obviously replaced. whatever, i left it. and remember when i had troubles making friends and you told me you'd ditch me in high school because you'd be "more popular" than me due to all your "older friends"? or maybe when we were talking to ______ and you were making me look worse than you? and then all the "you never recommend me anything good" complaints, when we both know that i showed you plenty of shit that you don't even credit me for. flat out, you just liked to feel better than everyone else. you never told me anything about you, and never really comforted me on any of my worries. if i liked a guy, you'd pretty much make plans with him, or tell me how you guys are now best friends. but you're so extremely fake, too; it makes me sick. stealing youtubers' style and making everyone think you're so goddam original? fuck, you're full of yourself! i remember around the start of grade nine i couldn't even stand to see what you'd write on people's walls. one minute, you'd reject a band, then once ________ told you she liked them, you'd say "oh, it's been a while; i'll give them another listen" - and BAM! rejected band becomes your new favourite. you copied nicole so much it was really lame. i could go on, but i find thinking about when we were "friends" to be a waste of time. i'd rather you stay a nobody to me.
DAY 15 — LETTER TO THE PERSON YOU MISS THE MOST.
dear ______,
i just wish you were still here. i mean, we’re somewhat in contact, but i really doubt it will ever be the same. you were a really good friend and you still are, but i will never know your inside jokes or what goes on in your head anymore. anyways, you were awesome, and so nice for a potential dictator. have a fun future (:
DAY 16 — LETTER TO SOMEONE THAT'S NOT IN YOUR COUNTRY.
dear husky,
gosh, i really do wish there was some what for me to have kept in touch with you after the cruise -- you were so sweet! i remember how jacy, ali and i were walking down one of the cruise corridors and i spotted you walking a bit ahead in a green sweater and black hat. "omg, that guy might be hot; let's follow him" and so we did, up until you went up the stairs and we headed to the deck. bummer. but then we saw you standing by the courts and watching the dodgeball game. i stood by while you and jacy talked. my gosh, you were a cutie for sure. your eyes were such a nice blue, but i'm sad to say i've forgotten your voice. ah, well, i miss you, massachusetts boy, but i'm so much happier now, even if
i had a little crush on you we were becoming friends.
DAY 17 — LETTER TO SOMEONE FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD.
dear mariah,
i love you. you’ve always been one of my best friends, even if i moved before the end of grade 4. i mean, DAYUM GURL, we reconnected after all that time and we STILL have so much in common. i think we’re soulmates. we used to sit on the bus ride home, and you’d sing stupid cupid. and i remember when there was that girl shania. okay, i don’t remember much about her. BUT WE HAD SOME PRETTY CRAZY TIMES BRO. kkay
DAY 18 — LETTER TO THE PERSON YOU WISH YOU COULD BE.
dear amy pond/karen gillan,
you're absolutely gorgeous, endearing and have a brilliant scottish accent. not to mention, you're a ginger! and beside all that, you're winning over the hearts of so many whovians so fast. you've survived an encounter with the daleks, the weeping angels and the dream lord. and the icing to the cake? you're positively best friends with matt smith/the doctor. i know how heartbroken you were when you felt your raggedy doctor wouldn't return, and how you don't remember rory, but your life is so wonderful! traveling space and time with the magnificent doctor; while they do say that, after meeting him and seeing so many alternate universes, you'll never be happy with anything else again, but i can't help but wish that i could, as well.
dear hermione granger/emma watson,
i would give anything to be accepted into hogwarts, which is saying a lot with the life i have now. aside from the facts you're absolutely stunning, brilliant, fashionable and best friends with the boy who lived, you've had the opportunity to live my magical dreams. you've held a wand, crossed the hogwarts corridors, dined in the great hall, seen dumbledore and participated in the greatest revolution in wizard history. you're really amazing, and i can't see you possibly being unhappy, ever. and you marry a ginger. <3
DAY 19 — LETTER TO SOMEONE THAT PESTERS YOUR MIND, GOOD OR BAD.
dear yoooooou,
fml, all of these seem to be about you.
OK NOW, WHERE TO BEGIN? well, lately – as in, since after the new york trip – i have found it impossible to keep you off my mind. i mean, like, the frequent texting made me really happy. while i talked to you, i began to wonder if i liked you or if you could have possibly liked me. at that time, i still hopelessly liked that douche, so he was on my mind, but around may, i was pretty much over him. and around midnight of my birthday, i did not remember who that fag was. honestly, now i remember that he said hi to me and the only thing i could think of was how you texted me that thoughtful birthday wish at exact midnight :’) and then, twentyfour hours later, you told me you liked me. BOY, AFTER THAT I CAN FAIRLY SAY I COULDN’T STOP. i thought it was pretty crazy that for once things were working out for me, though… and then, once we were officially together, everything was so sweet. now, i can’t help but constantly think i’m always bugging you when i text you and stuff, but you know all about my paranoia… LOL but sometimes you text ME so it’s all good. so, hopefully you’re not over me yet, cuz i love you too much.
@ 1:39 PM
BATCH 2: LETTER TO A MOVIE CHARACTER.
dear peter pan,
i know you're really out there, but you were in a film, so technically you deserve this letter. i love you so much. i went to disneyworld and perked up whenever i saw you performing. i frantically tried for photographs. i desperately searched for you. i never found you. my mum told me we weren't leaving disneyworld happy until i got some memorabilia of you, but wherever we went, of all those stores filled with tinkerbell, there were no peter pan things. i was devestated. but one day, i'll meet you. maybe it'll be the last thing i do, but i really do hope it happens eventually.
xx
@ 1:39 PM
BATCH 1: EVERYTHING BETWEEN DAY 3 AND DAY 11
DAY 3 — LETTER TO YOUR PARENTS.
dear parents,
i love you both no matter how much you make me want to gauge out my own eyes. you both have unreal expectations of me, but that's okay.
DAY 4 — LETTER TO YOUR SIBLING.
hey jordan,
i know you'll be a cool kid in the future, since you're pretty awesome now. i mean, look at you. you give flowers to older girls, watch doctor who with me, and know the chainsaw is the greatest weapon in the history of zombie apocalypses. sometimes, i'd like to introduce you to a weeping angel or a dalek, or maybe a hungry clown, but i secretly can't wait until you're that guy who dresses like a superhero for his civvies days or creates a worldwide phenomenon through a youtube video. i know you can do something great and i can't wait to see you grow
and analyze you until i can detemine whether your brain is compatible with my robots.love forever, you sweet little minion.
DAY 5 — LETTER TO YOUR DREAMS.
dear dreams,
you're on a roll! keep coming to me! maybe this is a little shipping fail, or an error in the post, but i do believe you're coming true now -- and it's better late than never! for the future, though, i want to stay happy, and i'd also like to get accepted into a brilliant university. i want to make a difference, some way or another.
DAY 6 — LETTER TO A STRANGER.
dear you,
i don't know you yet, but i know i'd like to meet you one day, unless you're a rapist or assaulter, then i'd very much NOT like to meet you. but i have a thing for meeting new, awesome people. alright, so make yourself known to me soon; we'll go gokarting and perhaps have a cupcake festival. we'll make this happen.
DAY 7 — LETTER TO YOUR EX-CRUSH.
hey mac,
i just want to say you were a huge waste of my time; not just because i liked you, but because i believed you really were better than this. do you know the number of times i just wished you'd have some guidance to do something right for once? or to just avoid what was wrong? but no, you've failed and disappointed me. i know you could be better, but it seems you've missed your chance. not with me; i never really cared to
be with you, i just wanted to know you better cuz i saw some kind of potential in you. to be your own person.
well, i guess i'm a wishful thinker, huh?
"he passed up the chance of his life and hes gunna end up with some bitchy slut"
maybe a bit of wishful thinking on that account wouldn't hurt?
DAY 8 — LETTER TO YOUR FAVOURITE INTERNET FRIEND.
DEAR TAYLOR MOORES,
I'M WRITING THIS IN CAPS, BECAUSE WE ALWAYS SPEAK IN CAPS. ALPACAS ARE FUCKING ADORABLE AND WHAT HAPPENS IN CHERNOBYL STAYS IN CHERNOBYL. WE MET IN OMEGLE AND BONDED OVER OUR CANADIANITY. EVERYTHING WE DO IS SO CANADIAN, IT'S GREAT. SO ANYWAYS, HERE'S TO MANY RANDOM TEXTS ABOUT BUNK BEDS AND MSN CONVERSATIONS ABOUT TUMBLR TO COME.
P.S., YOU'RE TUMBLR FAMOUS <3>her, so now it's no wonder that you'd always be with her. cuz she's so amazing and all. right then, as much as i miss you, i can't help but give up. i don't think i want to bother trying to talk to you now if you don't want to talk to me. guess we're good for nothing but smiles now; guess i'm finding a new favourite.
DAY 11 — LETTER TO A DECEASED PERSON YOU WISH TO TALK TO.
dear hitler,
when you decided you had this dream you wanted to fulfill, what went through your head? you are absolutely the greatest leader of all time and do not get nearly as much credit as you deserve. people need to understand there is no good or evil, just prejudice. you had idealistic perceptions and you chose to carry them out. you were ambitious and believed in uniformity.
@ 1:38 PM
BATCH 2: LETTER TO DINOSAUR.
dear mister leopluridon,
you are wonderful and magical, although i do question the amount of time you spend lazing about and exposing your greatness to everyone. nevertheless, you should be respected as a god. it must be terrible for you to have lost your friends, and everyone of your general species, so you must relate rather well with the timelords - an also extinct race.
please accept my condolences and undying devotion.
- erica.
@ 1:38 PM
BATCH 1: LETTER TO YOUR CRUSH.
hey munchkin.
you see this. well, maybe not, but i don't care.
so, yeah, i can't believe how much time i spent liking other guys, honestly. i didn't even talk to you last semester until the christmas concert. we were on and off talkers; started noticing i probably liked you when you gave me william nathaniel sebastian the third. ("you give some pretty kickass names," you texted me. "your future children are gunna be lucky" it made me laugh) i was so positively angry when people snatched him from my bag and teased me -- issued a rather nice roundhouse, if i do say so myself.
i say this a lot, but four days is all it took to get me obsessed; there are so many reasons for me to love you. especially bones. i hope you find him, really. honestly, truly do.
ffs i think i like you.
@ 1:38 PM
BATCH 2: LETTER TO INANIMATE OBJECT YOU HATE.
DEAR WII,
YOU ARE A FUCKING WASTE OF A HUNDRED BUCKS. DAMN, I REMEMBER HOW MUCH I WANTED YOU WHEN SUPER SMASH BROS BRAWL CAME OUT. I REEEALLY WANTED YOU. SO BADLY. BUT NO, YOU WERE TOO FUCKING GOOD FOR EVERYONE THAT YOU WERE ALWAYS OUTTA STOCK. DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES PEOPLE HAPPY? NO. I AM STRICKEN WITH REMORSE AND REGRET WHEN I REMEMBER THE CIRCUMSTANCES THAT YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE. HONESTLY, WHAT THE FUCK. IT WAS A SNOW STORM AROUND CHRISTMAS AND YOU WERE IN STOCK, BUT ONLY IF MY DAD RUSHED. MY DAD LOVES ME AND WHAT I WANT, I GET. SO HE DROVE ALL THE WAY AND BOUGHT YOU, LOUSY TRASH. MY DAD COULDA DIED ALL BECAUSE OF YOU. AND THAT WOULD BE OKAY IF YOU WEREN’T FOR FAMILIES AND FAT PEOPLE. LIKE C’MON! YOUR RACING GAMES ARE OBSCENELY DIFFICULT! I TILT TOO FAR RIGHT OR TOO FAR LEFT – WHY IS IT ALL SO PRECISE? AND ARE YOU AWARE OF THE TERRIBLE GRAPHICS YOU’VE BESTOWED? AND NOW, GUESS WHAT? XBOX JUST CAME OUT WITH A MOTION SENSING WII-LIKE PRODUCT. YEAH, AND THE GRAPHICS ARE AMAZING.
IF I TURN YOU ON AGAIN, LORD HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL.
- ERICA.
PS. THIS IS FAREWELL.
@ 1:33 PM
BATCH 1: LETTER TO YOUR BEST FRIEND(S)
dear nicole,
EY BAYBAY! we’re awesome. rly. you may be a stubborn child sometimes, but i still love you, even though our little affairs gotta stop ;) or not...
LMFAO, shit, between classes and your church/famjam life, we don’t get much time to talk, but then we have those moments where we go to the mall, buy a bubble tea (you always try something new, and i always stay the same) then go to the candy store or hmv or gamestop. after that, and the occasional photobooth, we catch a bus and – SHIT NICOLE, THAT’S OUR BUS! GO RUN AND CATCH IT! but then, it’s not our bus. EVERYTIME I SWEAR. so we sit and chillax til our bus DOES come (unless you make us miss it again) and then, we dominate the back of that empty bus, eat some swedish fish and plan our futures. tight shit, yo. we could make some kinda chickflick on our lives. LOL. and when we don’t go to the mall, i’m at your house with SNIKERS! <333 ok ok ok bye
dear meredith garcia, you are wonderful and lovely and maybe more than a little gay, but that’s ok! your homosexuality is the new ... –trend name here-! Ok. so you never believe me when i tell you that you are MADE FOR HIM but that’s cool. You can always still be friends, IF YOU WILL LET YOURSELF GO SO FAR. You love librarians (lol at the change in topic) and could not stand up for yourself to save your life – BUT THAT’S OK BECAUSE ERRYBODY LOVES MEREDITH. They should rename that show to fit you. BUT REALLY. “aw meredith iz sew kyoot she shud b a plushie or somthin!!!1!~” LOLN. BUT YES, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU ANYWAYS. Ok. so this summer you will face your fears and we will play hungry hungry hippos in my
white van house.
dear
people who listen to me there are a number of you who haven't yet spurned a hate of me. that's great! it would be too much effort to sort best friends from almost, maybe or sort of best friends, so you're all pretty close if i talk to you often and/or adorn you in hugs. i love you all so much. thanks for being there.